Have you ever asked yourself, Is it too late? Is it too late to change? To heal? To learn how to detach with love? Whether you've been walking this path for a while or are just beginning your journey, I want you to hear this—it's never too late. Every single moment offers a fresh start, a new opportunity to step into a healthier, more authentic way of being.
In my own Soul Recovery journey, detachment has been one of the most powerful and transformative practices. Many of us come to Al-Anon or Soul Recovery because we've spent so much of our lives entangled in the emotions, choices, and actions of others. We've felt responsible for their happiness, their well-being, and even their recovery. But the truth is, the only person we have control over is ourselves. And learning to detach—with love—is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves and those around us.
What is Detachment?
Detachment isn't about abandoning or rejecting the people we love. It's about allowing others to have their own experiences—without trying to control or fix them. It's about recognizing that their choices, their emotions, and their struggles belong to them, just as our healing, our peace, and our happiness belong to us.
Al-Anon offers a powerful guide for practicing detachment, known as the Seven Detachments:
1️⃣ Not to suffer because of the actions or reactions of others. 2️⃣ Not to allow ourselves to be used or abused by others. 3️⃣ Not to do for others what they can do for themselves. 4️⃣ Not to manipulate situations so others behave as we see fit. 5️⃣ Not to cover up for another’s mistakes. 6️⃣ Not to create a crisis. 7️⃣ Not to prevent a crisis if it is the natural course of events.
These principles extend beyond addiction—they apply to relationships, work, friendships, and even how we engage with the world. Detachment teaches us to let go of control, to stop over-functioning, and to trust that others are on their own journey, just as we are on ours.
Healing from Codependency and People-Pleasing
For those of us who struggle with codependency and people-pleasing, detachment can feel uncomfortable at first. We're used to putting others’ needs above our own, bending over backward to make sure everyone else is okay—often at the expense of our own well-being. But when we begin to practice detachment, we start to shift from enabling to empowering—both for ourselves and for the people in our lives.
We stop trying to manage the unmanageable. We stop absorbing emotions that aren’t ours to carry. We stop waiting for someone else to change so that we can finally feel okay. Instead, we take responsibility for our own healing. We turn inward and focus on our journey, our peace, our connection with a higher power.
It's Never Too Late
One of the biggest fears I hear from people is, I've done it all wrong. Is it too late to change? And my answer is always the same: No. It is never too late. No matter how long you've been caught in the same patterns, no matter how much you've struggled in your relationships, no matter how many times you've tried and failed—it is never too late to make a different choice.
Change doesn't happen all at once. Healing isn't about flipping a switch and suddenly having perfect boundaries. It's about small, steady shifts. It's about giving yourself grace as you learn. It's about waking up each day and choosing—over and over again—to stand in your strength, to release what isn’t yours, and to trust that your healing is unfolding exactly as it should.
Choosing Yourself, Choosing Peace
The moment you decide to practice detachment, to step into Soul Recovery, to heal from codependency and people-pleasing—that moment is powerful. It is a moment of awakening. And from that place, everything begins to shift.
So if you're wondering if it’s too late, if you’re feeling stuck in old patterns, if you’re struggling to let go—take a deep breath and remind yourself: Healing begins the moment you choose yourself.
You are not alone on this journey. You are worthy of peace. You are worthy of healing. And it is never, ever too late.
Namaste,
Rev. Rachel Harrison
Listen to the full episode on the Recover Your Soul Podcast
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